Q.My three and a half-year-old son is a real picky eater. It can take ages for him to eat his dinner and he is always the last one to finish. I spend most of the time cajoling him to eat and it is not fair because I have two other children who need my time and attention just as much. However, I always worry that if I don’t spoon-feed him he wont get the right nutrients or he will go hungry.
A. What you describe is a very normal problem that parents have to deal with. Mealtimes can become quite a power struggle between parents and children especially when a child is a picky or fussy eater. As a parent it is easy to worry as to whether your son is getting enough food and this can causes you to put pressure on him to eat. However, this extra pressure can cause your son to drag his feet and to ‘resist’ more. In addition, your son is receiving loads of attention (albeit negative) for not eating, whereas you want to turn this around and give him loads of attention for eating well..
To try and break this pattern, try and pull back and give your son the responsibility for eating. Rather than feeding your son, leave food out on the table for him to choose from. Sit down with him and give him encouragement anytime he eats something – ‘you are trying some of the potato – good boy’. Also attend to the other children at the table who are eating well. Also be prepared to enforce a finish time at the dinner table. If your son has not finished by a certain time the food is put away until the next meal.
Your son also could have more of a ‘grazing’ style of eating – he might prefer to eat a little and often rather than a large amount at a meal. As a result, it might be a good idea to give him small portions and arrange some small healthy snacks throughout the day.
Finally, try and involve your son in meal preparation and in the selection of foods so he can learn about healthy eating. There are also a great selection of story books in the shops on the subject on good table manners and eating well which you can read to him.