Q. Going supermarket shopping with my six-year-old son can be a nightmare. I always have a lot to buy and I don’t have much time. He goes running in the aisles and won’t stay by my side. He won’t listen to what I say and sometimes laughs at me when I try discipline him. Last week, he knocked down a whole pile of tins and I had to leave the shop. It was really embarrassing.
A. What you are describing is a common and frustrating problem. Many young children misbehave while in a supermarket because they find the adult task of shopping boring and the shop is too full of exciting and distracting temptations. In addition, it be particularly hard to discipline them, as a parent, when you are in public with other shoppers watching. This is made all the more worse when you are under pressure to get the shopping done and when you have little time.
The best way to view this problem is that your son simply hasn’t yet learnt how to behave in a supermarket and your job as his parent is to gradually teach him. Some tips below are as follows:
1) Prepare and involve your child in the shopping. Do up the shopping list with him and give his the responsibility of getting some of the items, especially those the likes (e.g. the ingredients for his favourite meal)
2) Set up a ‘training trip’: plan a short visit to the supermarket when you are buying only two items that your son wants to get. Use this trip to give him a chance to experience behaving well and remember to praise him. The more specific you are in your praise the more he learns how to behave well, e.g. ‘good boy for getting the beans for Mummy’ or ‘good boy holding Mummy’s hand in the queue’.
3) Try to finish shopping with a more rewarding activity for your child. This doesn’t have to be treat like sweets, but can be something like a trip to the park: ‘Now that we have finished shopping we can go and play’
4) Try to have more time. Rather than seeing the shopping trip as a chore, try to have more time so you can use it as an enjoyable shared experience with your child. As well as buying all the goods, you can have time for lots of nice conversations about where apples grow, and what is yoghurt made of. All this will keep your child involved and make it less likely for him to misbehave.