Q. My six year old son is in senior infants at school. Recently he has been getting into a lot of trouble with the teacher, like talking out of turn, being disruptive walking away from the desk. She says that he is often defiant refusing to do what he is told. It has got to the point that each day, I dread collecting him from school in case the teacher is going to give me another bad report. To be honest we don’t see many problems at home, but I am very worried about what is going to happen at school.
A. You are right to be concerned about your son’s welfare in the school and it is a good idea to take a proactive stance and see if you can help your son settle in school. Rather than waiting for bad reports, arrange a meeting with the school staff so that you can think together how best to solve the problem and help your son. The more you can work as part of a team with school staff the better it will be for your son.
The first step in solving the problem is to think through what could be at the bottom of your son’s behaviour at school. Is his disruptive behaviour a sign that he is struggling with the lessons? Or is he finding it hard to focus or concentrate on a completing a task? Or is he simply being oppositional against the classroom rules? Once you have a sense of what is going on for your son, then you are in a better position to get some help. For example, if he is struggling at lessons or having difficulty with concentration, you could consider getting his learning needs assessed, getting him some remedial help and working with the teacher to provide a structured approach tailored to his needs. Or if he is oppositional towards class rules, you could work with the teacher about establishing a positive discipline system for him at school that would include rewards and good reports home when he is being good, as well as sanctions and bad reports when he misbehaves. As well as working with the school staff, you also could seek extra help for your child in terms of a psychological assessment or a referral to a child mental health clinic. The school should have details of local services and resources.