Q. I have three children aged three to eight and at Christmas they get really loads of toys and presents from my husband’s and my family (as they are the only Grandchildren). To be honest I feel they are really spoiled by it and don’t appreciate them. Should I be concerned and if so how can I stop them receiving so many presents without being a bit of a ‘scrooge’?
A. You raise a very important issue about what a family Christmas should be all about. It is definitely the case that children now receive more presents than ever and this has perhaps increased as a result of the recent affluence of the Celtic Tiger. Though I think you are very right to question this and to think about what you want values you want to communicate to your children at Christmas. It is perfectly reasonable for you to curtail the amount of presents your children receive so that they appreciate what they get. A good way to do this is to ask family members to contribute to one or two special presents together for each of your children (e.g. one present from each side of the family). Most children prefer this themselves as it makes the presents special.
Alternatively, if uncles or aunts want to give a personal gift rather than giving a toy you could encourage to do something special with your children (like a taking them on a trip or to do an activity).
In addition, you can talk to your children about what Christmas means and discuss how as well as receiving presents, it is also about giving and doing things for other people. You can encourage your children give gifts to other family members and to even to do small acts of charity such as collecting money for a good cause or helping someone less fortunate out. You can even start a family ritual where all of you as a family do something for a good cause. Indeed such charitable Christmas rituals can be become memorable to children as they grow older and as important as exchanging gifts. Finally, when Christmas is finished you can encourage your children to pass on any unused or un-needed gifts to other children or to a charity.
The important question is for you to think about what type of family Christmas you want for your children and what values you want to communicate to them.