Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: Part 1

‘Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.’

‘How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it?’
Marcus Aurelius

Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: Part 2

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung

Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: Part 3

‘Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.’

How do I explain war and murder to my 6yr old?

Q. I am looking for advice on how best to explain to my six-year-old child about all the bad news you hear on the radio or in the newspaper. During the day I often have the radio on and she has begun to listen in and try to work out what is being said. When the news comes on and there is a serious road traffic accident, or a report of a murder or the conflict in Syria, she will ask me what they are talking about and expect me to explain.

What should we tell our son about his diagnosis of Dyspraxia?

Q. Our seven-year-old son has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia – this came as no surprise as he has always struggled with co-ordination and his social skills are poor. What I would like to know is how we should tell him about his condition or should we just wait until he’s older?

Stranger Danger: How can I teach safety without scaring my child?

Q. In our area there was a concern that a strange man was approaching and talking to children at a local playground. The report was that he was trying to lure them away from the playground. The police were called and, though there was no one arrested they issued a general warning that we should all be careful in the local area and make sure to warn our children of the dangers from strangers and so on. My question is: how much you should talk to children about “stranger danger”.

Tantrums in the middle of the night

Q. My 21-month-old baby has never been the best sleeper but recently it has been getting worse. He always used to wake up at night but we could generally placate him quickly and get him back to sleep in his cot, or occasionally by taking him into our bed. However, recently, he has been waking up in a much more distressed state and won’t settle easily. Frequently, he demands to get up and out of the bedroom and if we stop him he can throw an almighty tantrum.

My baby has started to make strange

Q. My four-month-old daughter is making strange. I understand this is quite early as it is usually six to nine months. She is a happy little one as long as I am in sight or if she’s on my knee. She particularly gets very upset when anyone else changes her nappy: is this because she expects to see me? It is very upsetting to watch as she is normally the happiest little person, but I admit this is in the safe environment of her own home and with me there.

Should I let my 13 year old go to the teenage disco?

Q. There is a teenage disco in our local area and my 13-year-old daughter is very keen to go. Though it seems to be well organised and just targeted at first years, I feel a bit reluctant to let her go. I might be a bit old-fashioned and just think 13 is too young. I also worry about what goes on at these discos with the way the girls dress in an over-sexualised way and all that might go on with the boys. My daughter is a sensible girl who hasn’t given me much trouble.

My easy-going 14 year old has no interest in schoolwork

Q: I have a 14-year-old son who is a lovely easy-going child by nature, but he has absolutely no interest in school. He is in second year at the moment and is scraping by. His teachers say he never stops talking in class and he has constant notes in his journal about missing books, unfinished homework, etc.

I worry about spiralling back into depression

Q. I am a mother to two children aged three and seven months. They are lovely children but I am finding it hard to cope. The long days get to me and I find myself at 9am, having been up for three hours already, wondering how I am going to get through the rest of the day. My husband is supportive, though he is under great pressure in his work and can only do so much. I did suffer from depression on the birth of my first child, but this time I thought things were going better.

My teenager has panic attacks, how can I help her?

Q. My daughter, who is just 15, has always been a bit of a worrier. Just about anything can make her anxious. Recently, things have got a little worse and now she occasionally suffers with panic attacks. Could you please give some tips on how to deal with them?